//Fun Insults on keypad "*" key
alias insult1 "say Team Fortress 2 is also Free-To-Uninstall; bind KP_MULTIPLY insult2"
alias insult2 "say I would insult you but nature did a better job.; bind KP_MULTIPLY insult3"
alias insult3 "say With aim like that, I pity whoever has to clean the floor around your toilet;  bind KP_MULTIPLY insult4"
alias insult4 "say You must really like that respawn timer!;  bind KP_MULTIPLY insult5"
alias insult5 "say Your kills are like all Valve franchises, stuck at 2..;  bind KP_MULTIPLY insult6"
alias insult6 "say Too bad you weren't in control of the Titanic. You would have missed the Iceberg.; bind KP_MULTIPLY insult7"
alias insult7 "say You should let your chair play, at least it knows how to support.; bind KP_MULTIPLY insult8"
alias insult8 "say You would make a perfect stormtrooper.; bind KP_MULTIPLY insult9"
alias insult9 "say i don't know what gets less hits... your aim or your online dating profile.; bind KP_MULTIPLY insult10"
alias insult10 "say Yo momma so fat that when she took a teleporter, she telefragged the entire server!; bind KP_MULTIPLY insult1"
bind KP_MULTIPLY insult1

//Jokes on the keypad MINUS
alias joke1 "say Why didn't the spy cross the road? Because he never really was on your side.; bind KP_MINUS joke2"
alias joke2 "say What's the difference between CoD and Jarate? The jar.; bind KP_MINUS joke3"
alias joke3 "say Why didn't the Sniper shave today? Because he never got his Razorback.; bind KP_MINUS joke4"
alias joke4 "say Why doesn't Heavy eat fruits? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.; bind KP_MINUS joke5"
alias joke5 "say Why is Heavy stupid? The enemy had captured his intelligence.; bind KP_MINUS joke6"
alias joke6 "say What wakes Spy up un the morning? His Bed Ringer.; bind KP_MINUS joke7"
alias joke7 "say How do you keep a Pyro busy? Tell it there's a Spy in the spawn room.; bind KP_MINUS joke8"
alias joke8 "say How does the pyro pay for its groceries? With spy checks!; bind KP_MINUS joke9"
alias joke9 "say A crate walks into a bar and orders 'the usual'.; bind KP_MINUS joke10"
alias joke10 "say What did the heavy say when the spycicle was added? ICY SPY!; bind KP_MINUS joke11"
alias joke11 "How does a sniper become a team player? He presses ","; bind KP_MINUS joke12"
alias joke12 "Why can't Sniper kill girls? He only Huntsman. ; bind KP_MINUS joke13"
alias joke13 "Why don't you trade hats with Soldier? He thinks you only deserve a metal. ; bind KP_MINUS joke14"
alias joke14 "What's another name for spycheck? French fries. ; bind KP_MINUS joke15"
alias joke15 "What trick did Medic teach his dog? Heel. ; bind KP_MINUS joke16"
alias joke16 "A medic, demoman, two soldiers and two scouts walk into a café. Why a café? They don't like pubs. ; bind KP_MINUS joke17"
alias joke17 "Where is the best place to find a Player with an unusual? The Chatbox. ; bind KP_MINUS joke18"
alias joke18 "How do you get scout's mum into bed? Enforcer. ; bind KP_MINUS joke19"
alias joke19 "What is the bodyshotting' Snipers favorite voice command? I am fully charged! ; bind KP_MINUS joke1"
bind KP_MINUS joke5